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| Something old (my apartment) Something new (myself) |
-"Of course I remember, I didn't like it at all!".
-"And what have changed? the city?" she continued.
-"Nope, it is still the same, it's only been 6 months".
-"So, what changed?".
-"...Me..."
That was my last chat with her, and suddenly everything was clear: I wasn't the same anymore, what happened?, I still don't know. Probably was a combination of things: Being with my family, working with kids, having a beautiful apartment with a beautiful friend as a roommate... but I was different, and that "different" could be described as happy. Weird, very weird.
So there I was, my new me going to visit the old me. I took a flight to the warmest city in Canada, and the adventure began. I was scared, shaking, I felt sick for the most of the flight. I didn't want to get to my destination, it was going to be so hard, difficult, I was about to confront reality, Was I truly stronger now?
Well, at that moment I didn't feel that way, but now I have returned, I realized that I am.
It was a rainy night. I saw him riding his red vintage bike. His amazing hair was dancing with the wind, but I didn't feel like crying, against all my bets. He tried to dry his black leather jacket with his hands, and then, he went right to the main entrance of the bar. We were supposed to meet 15 minutes before. He was late, and I didn't care, actually I was hoping he never show up, I was That scared.
He came in, and it was like I never stopped seeing him. His wonderful black eyes welcomed me like no one could have, and soon his arms knew what to do: he lifted me, my feet were touching his knees, he had always made me fly: with him, I was barely touching the ground, that was beautiful but also the reason for most of our problems.
I forgot to ask him the regular questions: "How are you/What is new/What have you been up to". He didn't ask me either. It was like if we were synchronized. He took a sit at the same time and hold our hands forever.
We stopped the time, and went back in it. I don't know if what I felt was love, but was certanly something strong, stronger than grudge. We talked for hours. I got hungry and ask him to order something for me, just to see if he remembered what I like to eat.
"Can we please have the turkey sandwich, but no mayo and no butter on the buns, and extra veggies; and salad for the side, no dressing please".
He still remembers. Later that night he confessed that nowadays he takes his coffee just like I used to take, "attempts" to bring me back to his present.
So I completed the ritual and left a couple of bites for him, he has always been the one who finishes my meals and sometimes, my sentences.
They turned out the lights, but never asked us to leave. He took my hand, had the last sip of his beer and said: "Come on, there is a rain waiting for us" Just like the one that got us wet the day that we said Goodbye.
We walked, but didn't know where were we going. We kissed, but didn't know where we were going with that kiss. We said we missed each other, but still we didn't know where were we going.
And then, I realized, I didn't need to know where to go, because I was already where I needed to be.
